When the Body Holds What Words Cannot: Living with Chronic Pain
Life with chronic pain can be overwhelming, confusing, isolating, frustrating, and frightening. Despite the fact that there are millions of people waking up every day with experiences of chronic pain– whether rooted in conditions like fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, or other autoimmune disorders–it is one of the most misunderstood and undertreated experiences a person can face. Beyond the pain itself, the uncertainty and not knowing can feel equally unbearable.
More Than a Medical Issue
Chronic pain is often considered to be a medical issue, but for many people, it becomes something much bigger than physical symptoms. Living with ongoing pain can affect a person’s sense of safety in their own body as well as their mood, relationships, and identity. Over time, pain can shape daily routines, limit activities that once brought joy, and create feelings of isolation that others may not fully understand.
Not only may those experiencing chronic pain be adjusting to a new way of life, but due to the shortcomings of our healthcare system, they also may be asked to continue to fight to be seen or believed. This alone is an incredibly painful experience. For some, this fight is not a new one. The experience of having one's pain dismissed or minimized can echo earlier experiences when one’s internal experiences or emotions were not taken seriously or when they were told their needs were too much. In this way, chronic pain’s impact can extend far beyond the pain itself.
This is why it makes sense that many individuals with chronic pain find that their emotional lives shift alongside their physical experience of pain. They may feel anger at a body and a system that feels unpredictable or unsafe. Grief for the version of themselves that existed before. Guilt for needing rest. Anxiety about what comes next. These emotional responses are not separate from the experience of pain, but part of the ongoing conversation between the body and mind.
The Body and Mind in Conversation
The body and mind are in constant conversation. It is through the body that we are able to understand the world around us. Our physical sensations shape the way we think, feel, and relate to others and to ourselves. So, when the body is in pain, it can impact the way we are able to connect with the world around us, contributing to feelings of distress or disconnection.
The conversation goes both ways. The way a person understands and experiences the world through the body can further dysregulate the nervous system. This matters because the nervous system plays a direct role in inflammation, immune response, and how pain is felt. In this way, stress, grief, anger, and anxiety can also contribute to the way the body experiences physical pain.
What Therapy Can Offer
Because chronic pain affects the whole person, therapy that attends to the person as a whole can be incredibly important. Through curiosity, compassion, and connection, therapy can provide a space to explore the ways that pain has shaped a person's sense of self and develop new ways of relating to the body.
Many people living with chronic illness have internalized messages about what pain or needing rest might mean about them. This can stem from previous experiences of being made to feel like a burden, or undeserving of care. By exploring and reflecting on these narratives, and gently questioning where they came from, therapy can support new ways of being and create more space for self-compassion and authentic connection with self and others.
Living with chronic pain can be deeply isolating, but it does not have to be navigated alone. If you are looking for support, reaching out to a therapist can be a great place to start.
Reach out today to get support: HERE