Love Island: A Therapist’s Take
Breaking news from the villa: therapists enjoy reality TV just as much as you do! While the drama, memes, and changing plot interest me, I also observe not only the interpersonal interactions between contestants on Love Island, but also how the online space reacts to these events. I find myself sharing the reactions of many online commentators and connecting with the shared community of viewers of the show. Yet, I also empathize with the cyberbullying and harassment that can result from putting oneself on such a public platform. The internet’s anonymity allows for easy critique and comment on others’ behavior without the discomfort of face-to-face reactions. However, it important to keep in mind the context of these shows:
1. The high monetary incentive to gain followers and a social media presence, even if it means of behaving in a controversial manner.
2. Contestants are being monitored and observed 24/7 by cameras, even during their sleep! Humans are not designed to be video monitored in this fashion.
3. Producers edit this show to tell a story, usually one of a villain and a hero or victim. In reality, everyone has good and bad parts to them.
4. Love Island, alongside many other “romance” reality TV shows are designed to produce conflicts between contestants, not to form genuinely strong relationships.
Although insensitive and hurtful behavior toward fellow contestants on reality television warrants accountability, intense public backlash can hinder opportunities for growth. When faced with overwhelming online criticism, contestants are more likely to become defensive and shut down than to reflect on and learn from their mistakes. If there is a contestant that you particularly love to see fail, or desire to get “dumped from the villa” it warrants some reflection to consider:
1. What are the similarities between this person’s mistakes and the ones I made that I consider unacceptable?
2. Does this person have traits I want or envy? (e.g. beauty, charisma)
3. How have significant people reacted towards me when I make a mistake? Did others show me forgiveness and compassion, or did I get reprimanded?
We can all take part of the summertime fun of watching Love Island while thinking about how we navigate our own romantic relationships. If you have been having challenges with dating or a romantic relationship, feel free to “pull one of our therapists for a chat” today.